Malt

The Angels' Share ★★★★
Non-depressing Ken Loach.
Bit too much Proclaimers but otherwise excellent.

N-bomb

Django Unchained ★★★★
Excellent western.
A bit long but solidly entertaining.

Homo floresiensis

The Hobbit ★★★
> GO EAST
You are in Bilbo's hobbit-hole
You can see Wizard Gandalf, Dwarf Thorin and Dwarves.
There is Middle Earth Map and Magic Key here.
You can go east or west.
Dwarves soon arrive. There are 13. One of them is Thorin. He seems important.
You soon realise the dwarves and Gandalf are trying to send you on an adventure.
Gandalf shows you map of Middle Earth and a key. "This is where we must go!" he says as he points to the Lonely Mountain.
"We seek our treasure, dwarf treasure, that the evil dragon Smaug stole from us!"
Thorin says. "We must go now to get our treasure! Head east towards Rivendell!"
>WAIT 3 HOURS
Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold.
 
Pah.