Got wood

The Cabin in the Woods ★★★

Remember the 80s? 

Remember 'video nasties'?

Remember 'Driller Killer', 'I Spit On Your Grave', 'Last House On The Left', 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre', 'The Burning', 'The Evil Dead', 'Hellraiser' and 'Friday the 13th'? 

So do the people who made this.

Ever watched any of them again in the last 30 years and realised that what seemed scary and transgressive to a teenager was actually with a few exceptions fairly tedious low quality nonsense?

Although this film plays with the same ideas, it has a massive budget and a decent script.

Not scary but not scary in a knowing post-modern way, so that's ok.

...but in space

Lockout ★★

Slightly bigger budget than a number of low quality single word 80s action films that it seemed to want to be.

Falsely convicted ex-government agent has one chance of obtaining freedom by infiltrating a prison where the inmates have taken over and rescuing the Presidents daughter. So it's Escape from New York mixed with Escape From New York but in space.

Lacks originality, excitement, violence and anything approaching a decent story but does have the odd good bit of dialogue and Joe Gilgun playing a psychotic Scottish bloke.

Bloodless

The Hunger Games ★★★

Not terrible. Relatively interesting take on Battle Royale but overly sanitised and lacking the impact of what is obviously the original, no matter how much people try and deny it.

Disappointing ending leaves you wondering if the film-makers could try finishing one story satisfactorily rather than setting up the inevitable sequels.

Bare

Ted ★★★★

Funniest film of the year so far.

May not be to everyones taste.

Test quote to see if you want to watch it with anyone else around:

Ted (the magically bought to life, teddy bear) is reluctantly interviewed for a job by Frank a supermarket manager:

Frank: You think you got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: You're hired.
Ted: Shit.

Knightfall

The Dark Knight Rises ★★★★
Admittedly there are problems with the incredibly unsubtle foreshadowing of the end, the miraculous healed spine (not to mention the leg), the timing issues both in terms of how long the film is and the spinal injury, also the amount of time the police spend underground. Then there's the 'six mile blast radius' bomb issue. And that terrible 'Robin' reference.
But then this is a film about a billionaire who dresses as a flying rat.
Yes it's serious but that doesn't mean it should be taken seriously.
Good fun, actioned packed, ticks most of the boxes and ends the trilogy on a high note.

Plastic

The Lorax ★★
Perhaps if you've some attachment to, or knowledge of, the Dr Seuss book this wouldn't seem such an obvious unsubtle enviro-fable.
Cutting down trees is bad - m'kay?
Just not very entertaining.